The Dilemma

By January 22, 2021 January 26th, 2021 Uncategorized

She couldn’t lift her head off the pillow this morning.

The shame she felt was overwhelming today.  

Could she deal with her guilt and shame today or would the easier answer be to take the pills that constantly sat on her nightstand just in case she ever found the courage? 

Why didn’t she listen when they told her?  They said it would start with ‘him’ looking like the ‘perfect boyfriend’ at first.  “If it feels to be good to be true, it probably is” was how the one girl put it.  She had heard that cliché so many times and didn’t believe it as it was like so many other ones, just empty words, or so she had thought. But now she wished she could go back to that day in school and tell herself to listen, pay attention, believe everything they were telling her. 

But she didn’t. 

She had not believed any of this could have happened to her and some days she still couldn’t believe it actually did. 

She should have.  Remembering back, she recalled the blond girl saying that she thought the same thing, and yet it happened to her too. How many times have we heard stories like that before?  “Still,” she thought, “I was told.  I didn’t listen.” 

She couldn’t remember how the blond girl said that she had gotten out… I am sure the blonde girls little sister was not threatened by her ‘boyfriend’ if she tried to get escape. 

She would do what she had to, to protect her sister!

She couldn’t get out of bed yet.  Why should she? She didn’t need to be at ‘work’ until 5 pm.  She wasn’t hungry. She didn’t have any motivation to get up and do anything. She couldn’t even begin to think of having a hobby. She couldn’t be bothered to try and make any friends, as her ‘boyfriend’ usually got rid of them in some way if she tried. 

Her mind drifted back to the man that stood in the doorway when she dropped of the present on Christmas eve.  Her little sister’s new daddy. She knew her sister would be ok with that family. She could tell the man was a gentleman.  Not a drunk or an abusive man like their real father. She wondered what the new mom was like, or was there one? She hoped not, she didn’t want her little sister looking up to her.  Jealousy sank in.  

If something good could happen for her sister, then maybe she shouldn’t give up on herself.  She sat up in bed with a small sense of motivation.  She could check online and see what options she had.  She would have to go to the library as she couldn’t check the phone her boyfriend gave her. He would find out as everything she did was linked to his phone. 

Stepping out of the shower onto her little hand towel she heard him slamming the door.  She didn’t want to lose the inspiration she finally was feeling. With her newfound motivation, she dressed quickly, breezed out of the bathroom, and smiled her most charming smile.  

One look from him stopped her in her tracks. 

“Why did you piss off your date last night? He was not happy and wants another date and this time free of charge. You better be nicer and do what he wants or else.”

“Right now??” She questioned, quivering. 

“No, you stupid fool,  but you will be picked up an hour early as you still have to do the other dates too, and even if you have to pretend, you better ‘enjoy’ every one of them tonight.”

“Or what?” I screamed back at him before I had even considered the consequences of that question.

He loomed into her face so quickly, pulling her head back with a fist full of hair. Glaring into her eyes, he growled in a low whisper “Or I will find your sister and make her my new ‘girlfriend’.” 

Tugging on her hair even harder as he glared at her in hatred reminded her of the time he pulled her into the bathtub, covered her mouth with a cloth and poured water down her throat. She thought she was going to drown.  She didn’t want him to do that again and so with her head pulled back and tears in her eyes she choked out her consent. 

Muffling her scream, she shrank away from him as soon as he let go. Glaring at him she refused to be the first one to look away.  Knowing her defiance would probably cause her more pain, she still couldn’t allow him to know the full extent of her fear of him. If she did, she would lose herself completely. 

Believing she was aware of her precarious position, her ‘boyfriend’ turned and left her room.  

Defeated, she sank onto her bed again.  She won’t have time now to go to the library. 

With the additional date added to her schedule, she only had enough time to get dressed, grab a quick bite, and tidy her room. Her driver would be here soon and the one thing that kept her sane after a night of dates was walking back into a tidy room when she got back.  Not understanding that mental game she played with herself, but knowing it gave her some semblance of control.

Resting her head back and closing her eyes, she tried to relax while breathing in some fresh air from the slightly rolled down car window as her driver took her to her first date. She was trying not to think about enduring that boorish man again tonight. 

She started thinking about her little sister.  It was a mind game she played with herself that helped her to not dwell on the shame she knew she would endure with each date.  She loved to imagine her playing games, going to school, having lots of fun with her new family. 

Her eyes flew open as she heard her little sister giggle.  Even though she assumed it was just her fantasy that was playing in her head she hoped she was wrong.  She hadn’t noticed they had driven in the direction of the park that was close to her little sisters’ new home. Swiftly scanning the park she spied her. She was sliding down into her new daddies’ arms.  Hugging him she squealed with joy. 

 

Thinking quickly she asked the driver to stop for a minute, explaining she felt sick.  Knowing none of the drivers wanted to clean up that kind of mess she pretended to gag.  

It worked. 

He stopped. 

She stepped out, went to the back curb where the driver couldn’t see her and looked out towards the park. 

The new daddy swept her little sister up and onto the top of the slide again.  

Warmth spread through her heart as she watched the joy sweep over her sister’s face.  She could sleep better knowing her sister was taken care of.  

The dilemma was, did her boyfriend know of the new daddy.  Would her little sister be safe if she tried to escape again?  

What more could she do?

Standing up from her crouched position behind the car, she looked over her shoulder as she walked to the car door and noticed that the new daddy was watching her.  He smiled and gave a slight wave.  

Timidly, she waved back, wondering how he notice her from this distance after only seeing her once at Christmas time? And more importantly, could she trust him to keep her sister safe. She couldn’t let anyone notice her watching them. She needed to leave and not look back. 

Disclaimer:

Although many of the situations in this story are potentially what a human trafficked girl goes through, this is a fictional story.