When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a van came to a halt, full some of my peers,

He was a good look guy, so lively and quick,

I knew in flash it was my pimp, Nick.

More rapid than eagles his girls, out they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

“Now, Danni! now, Darcy! now, Princess and Kitty!

On, Janet! on, Sugar! on, Esther and Lilly

To the top of the porch! to the top of the hall!

Now dash away! Make some hay! Make money, Y’all!”

So up to the hotel rooms each of them flew,

With some great little tricks, and some alcohol too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard through the walls

The prancing and pawing, and each of their calls.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

At the chimney my ‘John’, he looked like a hound.

He was dressed in fur, on his head and his foot,

Wearing nothing more, but a spot of soot;

A handful of ‘Toys’ he pulled from his back,

As he pulled one out he gave me a smack.

His eyes didn’t twinkle! his scowl not merry!

His breathing was harsh, his smirk kind of scary!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow

The scratchy beard of his chin was white as snow;

The stump of a pipe he held in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook when he stood, like a bowlful of jelly.